Emotional...Episode 2

What I'm thinking about....
I think I'm getting more mentally depressed each day.
Even when I walk with another I don't have much to say.
Yet,I feel so alone,together or not,the feeling is there where ever I go,everywhere.
Yet one day I try to think we'll meet again but why do I think thats so impossible now?
When everything just started I think of the end, and when I try to be optimistic I fall back hard on my back.
There's someone there just waiting to react,telling me things I don't want to hear.
Then when I come around and people tell me off I try to defend.
Yet,everything I say doesn't bring the rope to its end.
On my own I stand on this concrete proof of misery.
And lets just say the rest is history.
Long forgotten and gone.
Yet another comes back,then days turn black and everything falls apart once again.
So ask me this question everyday,
What are you thinking about?
Wait,I'll tell you another day.

What you've just read isn't meant to be a poem or a song but it is part of my little screwed up lyrics...bits and pieces of them put together to see what it'll look like.Its not put into a certain sequence so it'll rhyme.Its just there in that sequence like it tells a story and like there's a meaning behind it.It sounds kinda emo doesn't it? o.O
Its okay folks,I wrote that out of boredom and part depression.
Well,let me just reflect what has been written up there in reality...
I'm a fairly cheerful person.Yet I seriously get depressed more and more when I play whatever instruments today.When I pick up my guitar,my fingers just play those depressing instrumentals that I improvise.When I sit down and play my keyboard,I play mello,slow tunes that makes you wanna cry.Even when I picked up the recorder...Mary Had A Little Lamb seemed depressing.I think I'm so depressed because I'm caged up at home like an animal,sitting down watching tv,playing instruments and so on.I miss all my friends and classmates and I can't bear the thought of growing up,changing classes and getting jobs?....ahhhh....so stupid when I think about it.When you think about splitting with people you're close with,the emotion is just so hurtful that it goes deeper than a knife and the pain is unbearable.I'm gonna stop here because I think I'll type too much if I carry on.

I'm angry at myself for being depressed and lazy.
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By stupid,currently depressed and bored girl,

LorNa C.